My Moment With Elijah
I wasn't the least bit nervous about meeting Elijah. He is one of the most beautiful human beings on the planet and a wonderful actor, but I have never warmed to him. (Send the "You suck how could you not be in love with Elijah." mail here. )
About his eyes:
I
couldn't look Elijah straight in the eye, it was impossible! Looking into his eyes is like being in a Bella Lugosi movie without a crucifix. Lugosi was the definitive Count Dracula. He would say, "Look into my eyes," and, if you did that, you were screwed. His victim would fall into a hypnotic-like state and do his bidding. (It never turned out good.) Now I know where all those confusing Vampire Hobbit fan fics came from - obviously someone else likes old black and white movies.Pictures with Elijah followed the ones with Billy. Everyone went to the end of the line and started over. After I had my photo taken with Billy, I decided to call home. There was one place over by the curtains where people weren't milling around so I went over there to dig in my purse for my cell phone. Right after I stopped, a man came out and held the curtain open. Elijah walked out behind him, flanked by about four people. I just stood there and stared. I must have had the "OMG, you're Elijah Wood!” look on my face, 'cause he looked at me and smiled very sweetly. He was close enough that, had I reached out, I would have touched him. He was taller than I thought he would be. I had on low heels and I think he was a little bit taller than me. He walked past, and then I remembered I had a camera in my purse. I thought I could at least get a picture of the back of his head. I didn't have time. When he got three-quarters of the way across the room, the women saw him and started screaming. You should have seen him! He put his arm up across his head and bolted behind the curtain where the pictures were being taken. I don't think he liked all the attention and screaming.
Some thoughtless fans tried to sneak up to the curtain and take pictures while the photo shoot was in progress. The attendant ran them off. I was thinking that as much as those pictures cost, if other fans had flashed and ruined my picture I would have hunted them down. When I entered the curtained area, there were two girls seating themselves with Elijah. They sat next to each other and asked him to sit between them on their knees. He didn't look too happy about it, but he did it. He did that thing that guys do where they sit on your lap, but keep all the weight on their legs. That made him a lot higher than they were. They leaned forward and tried to kiss him on either cheek, but it didn't go smoothly. They kissed him again and the photographer got the picture. He was very embarrassed and he blushed. I don't think they told him they were going to kiss him. I felt a certain amount of empathy for him, I blush too. My face stings when I blush. I should have asked him if his face stings when he blushes.
When it was my turn, I gave him the CD with the messages that I had collected and explained it was about 40 pages and I felt it was too much paper to handle. I figured if he read fan messages, he would take the time to stick it in the computer, if he didn't read them, it won't matter if it was paper or disc. He said that the disk was a good idea and he said thank you, it’s nice. Look at the pic up there and you can see the CD with your messages in his hot little hand.
I asked him to hold the bear and that the bear was going to a friend in England. (This is a very cute bear.) He turned the bear over, looked it and laughed, like ya do when you think something is really cute.
Don't yell at me for this, but I expected him to stink. (Send the "You suck. How could you think Elijah would smell bad?" mail here.) I’ve read articles that say he is a heavy smoker and, as an ex-smoker, I’m pretty sensitive to the cigarette smell. One article said he smoked clove cigarettes and those things are just plain nasty. I put my arm around him and he leaned against me. (I am a very "mom" type.) He didn't stink (not that I actively sniffed him), I just remember him smelling fresh. Usually, when a smoker is that close, his hair and clothes smell like cigarettes. I wonder how he does that? If I ever see him I have to ask him if his face stings when he blushes and why he doesn't stink.
And to make sure you are really green with jealousy right now, his shirt was very soft and he was very, very cuddly.
Some of my friends saw the picture and asked me where my hand was when I put my arm around him and being a smart ass I said, "It's Elijah Wood, where would your hand be?" It was a joke! I would NOT grab his butt. I would grab Sean Astin's or Billy Boyd's, but it would never occur to me to grab Elijah's butt. Maybe next time I will. So, let's see -- next year at ORC I have to remember to ask Elijah; does your face sting when you blush? Why don't you stink? May I grab your butt to make my friends jealous?
The Autograph Line
While we were standing in the autograph line we started talking about the World Without Sundays concert the night before. One of the people I had just met said that she had been to a WWS concert and Elijah had kissed one of the band members. She loved it and said that all the women went wild. I don't remember which band member, I didn't know their names, but I had seen them the night before. All I can say is that, had I been at that concert I could have died a happy woman! The conversation turned to the inevitable and boring question of whether or not Elijah is gay. My first thought was, "One can only hope that he is gay and is willing to share pictures.", but I was able to keep my mouth shut. I did, however, drag out my soap box and rant. Here is an R-rated version of the rant. That pretty much derailed that conversation.
Now with my rant over we get to the part where he signs "The Precious" .
If you haven't read about Thursday night and the Elijah Wood autograph ticket you need to do that.
This is a long story, and I have to give you background for it to make sense. As I said, I think Elijah is one of the most beautiful human beings on the planet. I would love to sit and stare at him for hours; I just don't want to talk to him. I have nothing to say, I just want to look at his bone structure. I am a photographer and I think I would let someone bite off one of my fingers for the opportunity to photograph him. My favorite photography professor told me to always keep photos I really like and photos I really hate. Over the past few years I’ve collected and critiqued several pictures of him. Along the way, I have expressed the opinion that one or two of the photographers should have their camera taken away or possibly be shot. When I see a really good (or bad) picture I make my well-trained husband and son come to my computer and look at it. They are never suitably impressed, but I keep trying. I think Elijah is the corporealization of an angel. When I said I had met a guy that was gorgeous, my son asked, "Normal person gorgeous or Elijah Wood gorgeous?" I started to answer him thinking he was serious, but he was making fun of me and being a smart ass (it runs in the family.) So, Elijah has become the family benchmark for beauty.
California may have the worst driver’s license pictures in the world. People actually brag about having the worst picture. It is practically a status symbol to have a horrible DMV picture. When my new driver’s license arrived last year, I told my husband that I hoped I didn't look like the picture. I started wondering if the beautiful people; you know, actors and models, were required to carry those awful pictures around. My husband said, "Surely there is a place in Hollywood where they can pay more and get a decent picture on their license?" I told him I didn't think the DMV cared enough to do that. We discussed it for a while and he said, "If you ever meet Frodo, you can ask him. Tell him if there isn't a place where he can get a good drivers license picture, there should be."
I had two posters for Elijah to sign. One FOTR mini poster that all four signed and "The Precious" a Frodo/Sam poster. When I gave Elijah "The Precious" he picked up a pen, looked at, put it down then picked up another one and put it down before deciding on the color he thought was best to sign "The Precious" with. While he was deciding on the pen color (which I thought was very sweet and thoughtful for someone I didn't particularly like) I decide to ask him the question. I said, "May I ask you a question?" He kept going through the pens and didn't look up but said,
"Sure."
"Do you have to carry around the same awful driver’s license picture the rest of us do?"
He said with lots of expression, "My driver’s license picture is horrible and the last one I had made me look like a serial killer." He said it with such force, I just about cracked up. I told him he was the male standard for beauty in my home and what my husband had said about there should be a place for him to get a decent picture. He said, "Maybe for Harrison Ford, but not me." Then I handed the "The Precious" to Sean Astin. Elijah was still focused on the pens. He leaned over and pointed to one of Sean's pens and said, "Use this one so they will match." Wasn't that sweet and thoughtful?
It is official, we win, California has the worst DMV pictures in the world. How good do you have to be to take a horrible picture of Elijah Wood?
One other thing I would like to note. When I went to pick up my picture, the table was covered with pictures of his photo shoot. Elijah had the same exact smile in every single picture. He went from talking to posed in zero seconds. Sean did exactly the same thing, every picture was identical. Do you realize how many times you have to have your picture taken to do that?
I would like to say this one more time because I am a cruel person. "I had my arm around Elijah Wood."
Losillë
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